Trigger warning
Please note, this piece contains material that may be distressing to some viewers. Contains mention of abuse of children and animals and minimal themes of ritual abuse. If you suspect you are or suspect you may be a survivor of ritual abuse, please read with caution.
I want to thank the four survivors for their bravery and courage to share their experiences of such a sensitive topic. Three requested anonymity.
Although this piece talks in terms of childhood abuse – please note that the information can apply to adults who have been forced/coerced.
The term ‘perpetrator’ may be any gender.
“When we have a name for what we experienced and hear stories from other survivors it makes us feel safe enough to come forward. The thing that kept me silent the longest was being unable to find a single person or website to explain what I had gone through.” – Jada
I was scrolling Tiktok mindlessly when I stumbled upon Jada’s livestream. The topic caught my attention, and I stopped to listen. Jada was talking about her lived experiences of childhood trauma, and one of those topics was animal childhood sexual abuse (ACSA).
Like many others, I’d not heard this term before so I listened quietly as she shared her story and answered viewers’ questions. Despite many people knowing of childhood abuse or beastiality, they are often unaware of their intersection. This intersection is called animal childhood sexual abuse (sometimes called forced beastiality by law enforcement). While beastiality involves a consenting adult and a non-consenting animal, ACSA differs because a perpetrator forces or coerces a child and animal to perform sexual acts together. Neither a child nor an animal can consent, and both are victims. The animal of choice can vary, and may include other categories such as reptiles or insects.
Sexual acts can include:
“A wide range of behaviours such as vaginal, anal, or oral penetration; fondling; oral-genital contact; penetration using an object; and killing or injuring an animal for sexual gratification. Animal sexual abuse may or may not include physical violence other than the sexual violation; and may or may not result in physical injury to the animal. Animal sexual abuse, like rape, is the eroticisation of violence, control, and exploitation” (Vermont Humane Foundation).
For some survivors, ACSA may also crossover with pornography, trafficking and ritual abuse. Some perpetrators sell access to the child/animal for financial gain. Pornography is also rife – with acts sometimes filmed and sold. For others, these filmed acts are used to further torture and traumatise victims by forcing them to watch the films and/or re-enacting them.
Jada courageously shared about her stepfather grooming her between the ages of 8-12, exposing her to beastiality videos before eventually forcing her to engage in sexual activities with their family dog.
As I reviewed Jada’s TikTok page, I noticed hundreds of comments from survivors. As I read the sheer number of survivors who spoke up in the comments, I quickly realised that this type of abuse was not isolated instances.
‘I thought I was the only one!’
‘Thank you for speaking up – I’m not alone!’
‘This happened to me too – I’m sobbing because I’ve never seen so many people who relate’.
As a therapist, ACSA hadn’t been included in my training, so I embarked on a research mission to learn more. I was shocked by the lack of information and resources. A couple of academic journals mentioned it in passing, and a couple of personal accounts from many years ago. Given the lack of research, there were no statistics to show how widespread this issue might be – but judging from the comments of survivors on Jada’s posts – it was clear it was a much more common occurrence than generally believed.
This prompted me to post a call-out to see if there was anyone willing to share their stories – I was uncertain if anybody would due to the understandable shame and taboo nature surrounding this topic.
You see, perpetrators often use shame to maintain silence. Brene Brown writes:
“Shame is like a prison. But a prison you deserve because something’s wrong with you.
Shame is the greatest silencer. If a perpetrator can make the survivor believe at their very core they are defective because of the abuse, the survivor will be less likely to share their experiences. Shame keeps the survivor isolated and silent and the perpetrator safe. Additionally, when perpetrators convince the child that they are complicit, it compounds shame and silence.
Four survivors reached out – three requested anonymity. I want to publicly thank them for their bravery and courage. I also want to thank them for trusting me to share their experiences on such a sensitive topic – this piece would not be possible without their input and feedback.
ACSA can occur anywhere, and the perpetrators can be anyone – often by those known to survivors. From family homes and members, to friends and acquaintances, to online perpetrators or trafficking rings and cults. It doesn’t just happen in far-away countries, it happens in our neighbourhoods.
Perpetrators will go to great lengths to normalise their actions and enforce secrecy to protect themselves.
For some, threats of the things they love being taken away (such as siblings or the family being broken up) are also used to keep silence. It can also cause the child to believe they are responsible for any consequences of the perpetrator’s abuse. As a child, when you believe speaking out will harm others or cause negative consequences, silence is the safest option.
For others, sexual acts with animals was equated with ‘loving and caring’ for the animals. This included the use of guilt with phrases such as ‘They will feel sad if you don’t let them love you. You don’t want to make them feel sad do you?’ For this survivor, the abuse of her perpetrator was normalised. But on the other hand, they were also made to believe that if they told anyone, the perpetrators would harm another and blame the child.
Some survivors were repeatedly placed in situations where they were treated like animals. This includes being kept in dog cages, collared, muzzled, forced to perform sexual acts and make animal noises. Some survivors believed they were less than humans; they were animals.
Double binds can also be used – where you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. One survivor described being forced to play a game where they were released into a forest where they had to run from dogs. If the dogs caught them, they were raped by the dogs. If they outran the dogs, they were raped by the perpetrators. It was a no-win situation.
For one survivor, beastilaity wasn’t illegal for many years – and perpetrators used the law to convince the survivor that if they spoke with authorities, they would simply say they consented and that no crime occurred because it was legal. Not surprisingly, they were not informed when the law changed, with the survivor continuing to believe what they’d been told for quite some time.
Others were threatened or tortured if they resisted. For some, it was used as a punishment for ‘not complying or resisting’ the perpetrator’s demands.
The effects of ACSA are devastating. Not only do survivors often feel completely and utterly alone in their experiences and shame, many experience complex PTSD symptoms and co-existing physical and mental health conditions. As a survivor, being around animals can be triggering, which is understandably conflicting for those with a genuine passion for animals.
I asked survivors why they wanted to share their experiences with the world. The resounding answer was to let other survivors know they are not alone. A close second was to raise awareness about this little-known topic.
Jada captures this well:
“It’s common that survivors of this form of abuse feel like they are the only ones in the entire world who are living with this secret. When we have a name for what we experienced and hear stories from other survivors it makes us feel safe enough to come forward. The thing that kept me silent the longest was being unable to find a single person or website to explain what I had gone through. Even when I was old enough to know I was not to blame my brain still told me I was because I felt so isolated and alone.”
Another survivor says: “
We hadn’t heard of a single other person acknowledge this topic until the call for contributors for this article came out. Our internal response was overwhelming. We’ve had experiences of being seen and understood before about other aspects of our story, and so being seen in this way, while overwhelming, it wasn’t overwhelming in a harmful way. It was more the feeling of shame being lifted from a place we hadn’t realized shame had gone untouched. We want to share to hopefully enable that feeling for others. We want them to know that this does happen and that you’re not alone. You are not the only one and you are not the cause of any of it. You can heal and you can have hope. That really is possible.”
We break the silence and combat shame and isolation by sharing our stories. As Brene says:
“When we tell our stories, we change the world.“
Survivors talk about the importance of breaking shame and ending the silence:
“Breaking the shame cycle is incredibly important when a survivor wants to take their power back, and put the blame back on the abuser where all that shame belongs.” JADA
“I wish there was more normalisation of this type of abuse and that it really does occur. Not talking about it keeps shame locked up with the survivor. It needs to be with the perpetrators. I wish the emphasis was on placing the blame on them and not the people who suffer the abuse. In reality, we learn that we have to go along with abuse for our own and others’ survival.” – Anon
The following paragraph is a compilation of what survivors want fellow survivors to know:
“You are not alone and you are not the only one. What happened to you is NOT your fault. You didn’t choose what happened to you. You are not what your abusers forced onto you, you are not what your abusers tried to make you believe you were. You are not fucked up or messed up. You don’t have to be ashamed of what you were forced or conditioned to do. You are NOT disgusting, dirty or defective, and people cannot tell what has happened just by looking at you. I know it might feel like your image of the world and life is forever changed in the worst ways, I just want you to know that recovery is possible and you are worthy of it. You do not always have to feel shame, blame and responsibility for their actions, as that belongs to the abuser and no one else. We believe you, and we will listen to your stories when you are ready to tell. You are not alone!”
So how can we support and respond to survivors’ disclosure? Firstly, believe them! Disclosure by survivors can be a vulnerable and terrifying step to take – and many survivors have been conditioned and made to believe that they will not be believed; rather, they will be judged, or worse still, there will be negative and harmful repercussions for themselves or others. And unfortunately for many survivors who have disclosed before, they’ve often been met with further shame and blame. They are labelled zoophiles or animal abusers; placing blame and responsibility on the survivor yet again.
It takes great courage to share despite the fear. It’s a privilege to be entrusted with one’s story, especially when it holds shame or vulnerability, so hold space for their story with empathy and compassion. You have no idea how much it means to a survivor to be believed and still seen as a valuable human being with worth.
As Brene Brown says:
“Shame happens between people and it heals between people.”
Brene also says:
“When our need for empathy is met with sympathy, it can often send us deeper into shame—we feel even more alone and separated.” Empathy is about connection; sympathy is about separation.”
Unfortunately many responses such as ‘Oh you poor thing‘, ‘That’s so disgusting‘ or ‘That’s so gross‘ can unintentionally come across as shaming – as the survivor might feel like that’s a reflection on them. This can be further compounded if the survivor believes they are a perpetrator. Know it’s not the survivors fault – the perpetrator used animals as a tool to harm and abuse. Both the animal and the survivor are victims.
Perpetrators of this type of abuse bank on the fact that Animal CSA is ‘outside the realm of belief’ for the general public. They know survivors are likely to experience disbelief and be re-silenced. The lack of awareness of animal CSA works to the benefit of the perpetrators. And this needs to change.
Awareness is hugely critical – both in the general public and professional fields. The more people are aware, the better prepared we can be to support survivors around their disclosure and healing journey. And the more we speak up and share survivors’ stories, the less alone others will feel. There has been silence for long enough. It is time to break the silence that protects perpetrators, and to let all the other survivors know YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I believe you. WE believe you.
If you are interested in sharing your experiences with ACSA, or want to share how this piece impacted you, or know of additional resources – you can reach out here.
Additional sources/resources
Jada’s Story – Surviving Animal Childhood Sexual Abuse
Anon Story – Surviving Animal Childhood Sexual Abuse
Jada’s podcast episode on ACSA
Faith Allen – Survivors reflections One, Two, Three, Four
Journal Article – Perpetrators using technology to sexually exploit children and animals
Article – Animal abuse and youth violence
Author – Tarese Estelle